Avoiding words

Stress, probably a good guess. I am not even reading anymore. I finished the culture novel I got from S.'s partner. I found others online, downloaded them. My nook has them now. It is all working. I even started reading a new one.

It has been a long time since I have had a new author, a new series, as interesting as these. They are not fantasy, they are actual science fiction.

But I am not reading.

I have been avoiding writing here too. I meant to write this post many weeks ago. Just now, so much effort it is taking.

More trouble answering people's questions too.

I am playing that card game, repeatedly. Colouring, just finished the two below. In the garden outside, listening and looking. Wordless activities. Not so good.

I wish I knew why.

Zoo with J. and S.

Too much chaos and confusion. That is why I have not written. Mostly pictures today. Zoo trip using my two free passes for J. and S., and a few of my last remaining ativan.

Also, J. got me a new friend at the zoo, a little brown hippo. I now have four little hippos. The first picture was taken at the zoo just before J. drove us home. J. still has not made the noise with the brown hippo that S. did at the zoo. So sad. New friend was good distraction from freaking out and headache. It worked.

A difficult day

I only was able to sleep for less than two hours last night. Assuming from hitting my head on the refrigerator door last night. Misjudging where my head was in relation to the door. Forgetting to account for my head being mine, and needing to move accordingly. Hit hard too. Instant headache. Ice pack and excedrin, minimizing the damage but it hurt.

I pedaled on the bicycle anyways this morning. But that, and some reading online, is all I have accomplished today. I am just now yes to food. Can not eat solid food. Too impossible to swallow.

A difficult day.

But yesterday J. got me a new friend when we went to the store. It is another like my little blue hippo. A black cat. I thought it was a mouse. The ears were folded over, hard to see pointed not rounded. Immediately got J. to select the ribbon, yesterday at home. I have found more like these, I want them. I made a list. When I have money to spare, I will get one from the list.

My new friend. I may have to dye the ears and nose to not-pink, but otherwise it is so very cute. It I like the structure so much, just like the little blue hippo.

Hamster ladder & fuzzy caterpillar

J. helped me add the new hamster cage structure I have been wanting for possum's cage. He is much more creative than I am. It is the bottoms of two oatmeal bar boxes, with ladder rungs, connected to a super neat circular box that used to have oatmeal in it. Possum very quickly explored it and seems to quite like it. And, it fills part of a large empty space in her cage.

The whole ladder system, it is the colourful red brown and blue level with the bamboo sticks poking out, and the circular brown box on the left.

Possum, inside the box. J. said it would be a good place to see her do what he calls "scuffling", the sound made from hamster nails failing to dig through cardboard. Tiny Blue does that a lot.

Also, while I was mowing the yard yesterday, I found a fuzzy little caterpillar. I did mow around it, of course, and took pictures.

Many bad headaches lately, so nothing else good to write about.

Osprey nest

Live stream of an osprey nest. Much like the eagles nest I posted about a while ago. Do not think any of the eggs have hatched yet, but I have not seen them. This is from the University of Montana. Very neat!

Watch live streaming video from ospreys at livestream.com

Forgetting

It is so frustrating to not be able to remember things. I have no idea how good or bad my memory is compared to a normal brain. But I do know it is inadequate.

To be trying as hard as I can, to be using all the tricks I have found that some times work, and still be unable to remember, that is unacceptable. But also it is usual, normal for me. Some things are easier, but for no discernible reason. Events that happen once a week, for example, I seem to not miss too many of those. Of course I use a calendar, with reminders that go to my email and to my iphone, post it notes on my computer desk, and other tricks to remember. But I do the same with other things, and do not remember those anyways. It seems those events that happen multiple times a day, or less than once a month, these are almost always forgotten. Things that happen less than once a week but more than once a month are also forgotten, but less often. Things that happen once a day must be put down on a daily to do list or they will be forgotten. But what I remember to put on a daily to do list is rarely more than half of what needs to be done in one day.

It seems to me I forget things a lot more than others, that most people do much better at least with the daily things than I do. But a friend has been saying often that people appear much more "together" than they actually are. So, now I am not so sure anymore. In any case, the comparison is not really so important, except as a means of finding out WHY I have such trouble remembering. In the end, the important thing is just that my memory is inadequate to my needs.

So frustrating, for me and for those who try to help me. Today I must tell the therapist lady that the thing she asked me to do last week I could not do. I just kept forgetting too much and nothing worked to help me remember to do it.

Guinea pig picnic

I finally got the fencing set up to take the guinea pigs outside for a guinea pig picnic. They were much more scared of coming out of their hiding boxes than I expected, but eventually they came out a bit. Acted like tiny cows, like J. said, eating away at everything green with very little interest in exploring anything at all. It was interesting. Unlike the bunny, who was much more interested in exploring the confines of the playpen than he was in eating the abundance of grass and dandelion and other edible plants.

The guinea pigs, hiding in the box they were hiding in during transport.

They got shooed into the clorox box, which I took from their cage so it smelled familiar, and eventually accepted offerings of fresh dandelion greens that J. picked out for them.

The little one, Miss Bubbles, was as usual less scared than the other one, Miss Piggy, and more readily came out to graze on the grass.

Both did eventually come out, but the slightest move often sent them running back for shelter, or at least freezing in place. They may get used to it more, over time. But I did not want to leave them out for too long the first time. I was sitting in the pen the whole time with them, but only Miss Bubbles came to see me.