Zoo pictures, notes on trip

So the zoo trip went well, ignoring both what it took to make it go well and the minor eye leaking and nonsensical explanation in the car. We saw many animals of course and it was wonderful and fun. I again got a bird sitting on my finger. My hands having a lot more trouble staying still for the past few months, but I had help. The bird was not scared off. It was very nice. It was so neat to have it perched right on top of my fingers too. Very challenging to stand so still for so long in such a loud place. But very worth the effort.

 I got the zoo program on my phone so I could get the names of the animals, but they do not even list any of their names. So I can not name the animals. So sad.

The two female giraffes out on the savanna (wide open area), so happy to see them with enough area to play in. [Edit to add] Olivia in the front, she is five years old! Tufani, her sister, in the background. She was eating stuff from what looked like a hay net high up in the tree.

This is the elder female orangutan, she is lovely. She smiled and so I smiled at her and she smiled back (lips closed of course, my zoo friend told me about that.) I really really wish I could touch her. To say hello in my way. [Edit to add] Her name is Melati.

This is an elder male orangutan and he is lovely too. Much bigger. Just as nice. [Edit to add] His name is Towan.

This is a tree kangaroo. [Edit to add] Matschie's tree kangaroo. There are I will need to read more about them, I did not know there was a species of kangaroo that lived in trees. [Edit to add] Actually there are ten species that live in trees! It is so interesting.

A tortoise, may be one of the babies that grew up that I took pictures of on this trip and on this other trip too.

Trumpeter swans. Sleeping.

No idea what kind of bird this is but it is very pretty. [Edit to add] This is actually a white eared pheasant!

A nicobar pigeon, may be. [Edit to add] I was right! The colours are so pretty.

A peacock, very aggressive, it snatched a long stick of cheese from this child's hands so fast there was no time to react. I hope it did not make the bird sick, cheese probably is not a good food for them. The picture is slightly altered, do not usually like people parts in my pictures.

The rest of the zoo pictures I uploaded to my Picasa thing. They are all very pretty. I uploaded ALL of my zoo pictures, from all of my trips, to Picasa finally.

So frustrating. In spite of taking 14 times the usual amount of ativan (to ensure I not freak out), I still was not all that much calmer than normal. It was more than what I take for trips to the dentist. And yet I still came very close to freaking out a few times. Excessive use of the medication. I know it is wrong. May be even dangerous. I have no choice. No one who is supposed to help will help me. So I just do best I can with what I know.

Also. That was the first time I left the house without J. without worrying much about what might happen to me, since that Thursday disaster at Provail. I've been worried for being hunted by police and being locked up in a mental institution again, in my dreams again too. An old fear that I haven't had to deal with in years, brought back because ignorant people do not know how to handle me being actually autistic.

My zoo friend, he is a safe person in addition to being interesting and nice. I do not know what he does differently than others, but I am sure it is more than just his presence that helps me enjoy zoo visits. He makes it safe, of course. The risk of terrible things happening to me while he is there is very low. He is a protective buffer that can keep other people from calling police or ambulances at me, thus avoiding me being locked up in a mental institution. And I know that he will not call the police or an ambulance unless it is actually necessary. To have the zoo trips be safe like that, it makes them that much more wonderful to me. Frees more of my energy and attention to enjoy the animals and keep myself calm.

 Such safety, it is so rare. Only him and J. have that safety for me right now. I thought the people at Provail were too, but I was so very wrong. I have not written about what happened yet. I will some day. It is not over yet. Not to worry. I will not be going back to Provail until I am sure it will be safe. I am not that stupid.